Music

Last night I announced to a few people that I am going to be auditioning for American Idol this summer. To the rest of you...... I'm auditioning for American Idol this summer.

Anyway, in the quiet moments of the night I began to ask myself whether or not I truly have a snowball's chance in hell in the current music industry. I began to instantly inspect my body, every scar and zit on my face, the small bald spot that still shows if my hair is parted wrong, my strech marks, my pudgy tummy, my ugly toenails... but then I took a step back and thought...

"This is CRAZY!!!"

I'm a good singer! I write my own music, which is more than I can say for most girls my age in the music business today.

But there are standards, people say. But who needs standards!!!??? Isn't the whole point of making music to produce emotion? To provoke the human spirit?

And here I am, pinching my chub in the mirror... I SHOULD BE CELEBRATING MY CHUB!!!

I'm not anorexic, I feed myself! GOOD FOR ME! I HAVE SELF-ESTEEM!!

And it doesn't even matter if I get sent back home to work a 9-5 job because I would much, much rather go down because american society is too blindsided by someone else's cute ass and a tiny waist to listen to me, than throw up all my food and sing cheezy pop songs written by some shmuck who lives on Sunset Boulevard in his ten-million dollar home.

Believe it or not, it used top be that no matter how rich someone got, they had to keep some sort of connection to those who were poor, those who were hurting, those less fortunate than them so that they could keep making music that spoke to people. Music doesn't speak anymore, because music has no voice. Music has an auto tuner that "fixes" more than pitch, it also "fixes" human identity and image.

Ghandi once said "You must be the change you want to see in the world"

Your words are your torch...

Lets burn down the house...

liefde, dashuri, حب, каханне, любов, amor, 愛, ljubav, láska, kærlighed, armastus, pag-ibig

In any language, the meaning remains the same. It is the one word that exists in every language in the world. It is the subject of literature, songs, stories and poems that date to the beginning of written word itself. So despite race, nationality, language, religion, beliefs, gender or sexuality, the one thing you share with every human on this earth is the capacity to love another human being. So why don't we? Send me an email with your theories...

I was once told that gay marriage was wrong because it is a "slippery slope", because then other sexual misconduct would be considered "alright" by public standards. I was given the examples of "sex and marriage with animals." and "sex and marriage with children." I had to have a massive LAWL!!! at the second one because of the catholic church's track record, and, whether you like it or not, Catholicism is a branch of Christianity...

Anyway... It was several years ago I was told this, when I was just beginning to form my beliefs, and, being so young, I really had no rebuttal. But over the years I've stumbled across several points that discount this theory, including scientific research... YES!! SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH!!! THE DEVIL HIMSELF!!!!! And although I can't really site my sources, (Most lof them were high school papers that have been lost over time. Thank Darwin for Public Schools.) I think you will realize that most of them are simply common sense.


My first point is the "Oh-So-Common Who Really Gives a Crap Point" which states, and I quote, "Who gives a crap what people do on their own property? In their own bedrooms and cars?" You don't HAVE to be nosy all the time. Gay people enjoy their privacy as well. Whats ironic is that most of the people who are against gay marriage are the ones who got all pissy about the public smoking law... THAT ACTUALLY WAS HURTING PEOPLE!!! "I don't wanna see them kissin' in public. But you are imposing on my constitutional rights by not letting me infect everyone around me with emphysema." Wow... you're cool. And really, whose business is it of yours to care what people do in their own homes. You don't want to know the details of anyone else's sex life, so why arepeople so focused on that of gays. I know heterosexual people who have to beat the shit out of their significant other to get off, even if it isn't pleasurable to them. But I don't see RAGE about that. Let people do what pleasures them... seriously, its not hurting anyone, so find a cause that actually helps people.

Alright, here is the slippery slope rebuttal. Animals do not share the same psychological presence that humans have. They can not write, they can not speak, thus, they can not consent, thus making it rape of another living creature. People, seriously, you yell at PETA for this shit. Animals are not humans. I know that they feel pain... I know that they feel love... But they are not able to consent. I'm not putting personal opinion in, so if I get called a chicken F**ker tomorrow I'm gonna be pissed.

As for children, isn't this the same reason there are age limits on tobacco and alcohol. Because the young minds aren't able to handle such things.

Honestly, I'll be making a follow up because I'm beginning to get angry with idiot conservatives...

TTYL...

The Meridian Vase

The Act

When I was small, the grass covered the land like a carpet over the hills and trough the valleys. Trees stood like giant wooden soldiers, protecting the earth beneath it from harm. Under one such tree my father and I planted a seed, a peach pit beneath the musky brown soil.

"Just make sure it can see the sun," he said. "A plant is like the human soul, and will parish in darkness."

But that was before The Act...

Last night I cleansed myself in the shower, but it was more of a spiritual cleansing than anything, a mental cleansing. I cleansed myself of fear, of heartbreak, and most of all, of the past. I rinsed away all the hurt of high school and bad relationships. I rinsed away all the fair weather friends and theone night stands and anything that made me hate anyone or feel inferior. I rinsed away social stereotypes and the mold that I so desperately tried to fit into for so long before I gave up and turned into what I thought was the complete opposite of the people who had betrayed me. Someone that I wasn't.

When I was younger I used to cry a lot... I still do, I suppose. But I would cry over nothing. Empty ice cream cones, lost puppies, popped balloons. But not mine, those of other children.

This may sound crazy, but I read an article on people known as replicators. They feel the electromagnetic energy (auras) given off by others and multiply it within themselves subconsciously. What this basically means is when this person is in an environment that is happy, they are happy. When there is tension, they are tense, and they seem to take the emotion of those feeling the strongest in the room. A couple very deeply in love, the angry man on the subway, the child who just dropped their ice cream.

Its a subconscious intuition, the problem is finding out whose emotion you are replicating...

I'm not sure how to start a blog. I suppose its mostly since my past blogs have been random rants about things in the universe that bother me. (politics, religion, etc...) But out of all of those rants. Its hard to say I actually learned anything worthwhile. If I learned anything, it was to hate. Hate myself, hate others, hate my environment and everything that surrounded me. And as many times as I've tried to let go and be at peace... I can't. Its like a bad Microsoft Windows program virus that I cant uninstall. (LOL... I would bash Windows while making a valid point) And all the while I simply accepted that my unacceptable actions were just a part of who I was. That peace was a fantasy and love was nothing but a plot-line for a romantic comedy. But I've learned a lot over the past year, and, contrary to what people might think, I am, for the most part... quite satisfied with my life.

I've learned that although blood may be thicker than water, its easy to become trapped in a sea of loyalty to people who might not deserve it. I learned that love is complicated, and men are confusing as HELL!! I learned that the ultimate revenge is to be happy and successful, because hate eats your insides like my dog eats beans (and Butterball loves his beans). I learned that a smile, kiss or touch can be worth more than any material thing. I learned the joy of simple fun, like sword fighting in the Walmart toy area. I learned that most Americans give %60 too much of a crap about daily life, and people seriously need to shut up sometimes. I learned how awesome filmcow.com is. I learned that no one in Nelsonville or Athens knows how to drive, so I should just get used to it. I learned the joys of being able to walk around naked because "I pay rent here, so... HA!!". And most of all, I learned the true value of material goods... and astonishingly, they aren't worth much of anything. What matters is the time. The calm moments of life. The smell of homemade chili, or the feel of the wind in your face when the car window is down. I'm not a Miley Cyrus fan, but one lyric that I'm sure she didn't write stood out to me. "It ain't about how fast I get there, ain't about what's waiting on the other side... Its the climb."

Blessed Be
-The Meridian Vase